Yet another Tuesday! I am not doing very well, to be honest. My upstairs neighbors are being incredibly noisy, even more so than usual. They’re quite literally screaming and the usual pounding and thumping is near constant and so loud it sounds like someone is being pushed onto the floor. It’s very hard to relax with that above you and I really don’t need any more obstacles in that arena.
I’ve been able to read more, though. It’s definitely one of few things that’s keeping me from putting my head through a wall. I’ve gotten through three full books in the past four days, two of which I greatly enjoyed and one of which was a whirlwind of an experience I can’t quite describe.
Other than that, I haven’t been doing much. I did manage to once again leave my house yesterday and I had a lot of fun but, as always, I now feel like a zombie. It’s so frustrating. I can have fun, but I’ll be half dead for a while afterwards. I almost didn’t bother trying to write this up, but I figured a very short check-in is better than none.
I really wish there was some way to convey the absolute emptiness I feel at moments like this. Like, my mind is usually quite busy. I’m rarely not thinking about something—except on days like this. All my emotions are far away and fuzzy and it’s rare for my thoughts to form a single word. It’s like being on autopilot, but being entirely aware of the things around you. I still feel every sensation as keenly as if I was in my normal state of mind, it’s just that there’s no words being put to it. I don’t feel in control of my actions, I just watch them happen.
That’s about all I can manage today. Thank you for bearing with me and I hope you’re doing well.